Jesus Was the Original Tech Bro: The Stolen Valor of the Soul
Jesus Was the Original Tech Bro: The Stolen Valor of the Soul
To look at Christianity with clear eyes is to witness the most successful "stolen valor" campaign in human history. It is a psychological trap designed to make the bone-deep, lifelong endurance of women invisible while demanding the world bow down to a finite, three-day masculine ordeal.
I. The "Tech-Bro" Messiah: Product Over People
If you strip away the stained glass, the Jesus of the New Testament isn't "meek and mild." He is the original Spiritual Tech Bro. He has the "disruptor" personality: convinced he’s the smartest guy in the room, poorly regulated, and dismissive of anyone who doesn't understand his "source code" (parables).
- The Magic Trick Loophole: Jesus performs "cool tricks"—bread, fish, wine. The crowd is so dazzled by the "free samples" that they ignore the person.
- The "Mom" Incident: When his mother brings him a human problem at the Wedding at Cana, he snaps: "Woman, what does this have to do with me?" It’s dismissive, cold, and elitist. But because he "ships the feature" (turns the water into wine), the narrative ignores the abuse.
The Verdict: The Bible teaches that if you are "divine" (or powerful/rich/famous), you don't have to be a good son. As long as you provide the "magic," you can treat your mother like garbage and your followers like idiots.
II. The Stolen Valor of the Cross
The central "miracle" of the faith is a farce of proportions. We are told that a man dying for three days—knowing he is an immortal God with a guaranteed throne waiting for him—is the "Supreme Sacrifice."
- The Mother’s Life Sentence: A mother gives up her body, her sleep, her organs, and her identity. She doesn’t do it for a weekend; she does it for decades.
- The Insanity of Comparison: To call Christ’s three-day detour the "Greatest Sacrifice" is a direct insult to every mother. It tells women: "Your entire life of labor is 'just nature,' but his sixty hours of suffering is 'divine.'"
III. Divine Non-Consent: The Template for Predation
The church celebrates the "Annunciation," but they are celebrating the targeting of a child.
- The Age Gap: Tradition puts Mary at roughly 13 years old. A child.
- The Illusion of "Yes": There is no "consent" when an all-powerful deity sends a terrifying celestial being to tell a peasant child what will happen to her body—especially when the alternative is public execution (stoning) for an "unexplained" pregnancy.
- The Grooming Blueprint: By making a child’s "submission" the highest virtue, the church has groomed generations of women to believe their boundaries don't matter if a "higher authority" wants something from them.
IV. The Institutional Fallout: Why Laws Ignore Women
This narrative is the engine behind modern misogyny. Because the church views women as "vessels," it creates a world where:
- Mothers are Invisible: Their work is the "invisible infrastructure" of the world, yet they are the first to be exploited.
- Safety is Secondary: Men in charge feel entitled to control women’s bodies and movements—whether through reproductive laws or hotel policies that treat women as "second-class guests"—because they’ve been raised on a story where the Mother is just a delivery system.
Conclusion: A Religion of Ego
Christianity is a monument built by men who wanted to feel like heroes without doing the actual work of sacrifice. It’s the "Stolen Valor" of the soul—taking the concepts of love and creation from the mothers who actually embody them and pinning the medals on a "Tech-Bro" deity who couldn't even be bothered to be nice to his own mom.
It is time to stop worshipping the man who gave up a weekend and start honoring the women who give up their lives.
A Note to the Ladies: I get why men like being Christian. They get to have you as their slaves for life and no matter what nasty shit they do, they go to paradise at the end. There's no win for you. None. Get Out now.
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